A man's heaven in a Bsized cup
by Ashuurii
Summary: You wouldn't..." -smirk- "AHH! YOU TOUCHED MY-..." haha. SASUSAKU crack fic. well... it's crack-ish so give me my props peoples! haha... enjoy! R&R! totally random btw...


**Me: I think this will be rather... entertaining.  
****Naruto: I don't like the look in her eye... -whispers to Sasuke-  
****Sasuke: Your telling me... oddly enough, something tells me I'm going to get hurt here.  
****Me: Possibly.  
****Sakura: OH! OH! Do I get to be in it?!  
****Kakashi: Uh... er... Sakura?  
****Sakura: Hai?!  
****Kakashi: -rips off Sakura's clothes and snaps picture in her panties and bra-  
****Sakura: -dark aura- kakashi... –cracks knuckles-  
****Kakahsi: RUN JIRAIYA!! RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!! IT'S THE ATTACK OF THE CRAZY WOMAN IN UNDERWEAR!! AHHHHHHHHHH!!**

**Sasuke: How manly... I am sooooooooooo ashamed.  
****Me: - shakes head – pfft... men.  
****Naruto: What was that?!  
****Me: Nothing... ANYWAY!! Onward! TO INSANITY MY MINIONS!! KILL KARIN AT WILL!!**

**...**

**Me: LOOK THERE SHE IS!! SHOOT HER!!**

**...**

**Me: Pfft... idiots. –pulls out machine gun loaded with nukes- MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! EAT MY NUCLEAR AMMO BIZNATCH!!**

**Karin: Did someone call-? AHHHHHH!! SASUKE SAVE ME!!**

**...**

**-sasuke and sakura make out passionately in the Uchiha Mansion.-**

**...**

**Naruto: whoa...  
****Neji: that-  
****Kakashi: was-  
****Gaara: so-  
****Jiraiya: HOT!! YEAAAAHH BABY!!  
****Me: Gaara... HOW DID YOU GET HERE?! – keeps shooting Karin's lifeless body... MWAHAHAHAHA!!- cough-  
****Gaara: -puppy eyes- I missed my Ashu-chan  
****Me: AWWWW!! GAAR-GAAR-KUN!! YOUR SO CUTE!! –squeezes!!-  
****Gaara: -smirks evilly as he is crushed in my... er...-**

**Heh... onward! Now!**

**Karin: Sasuke no--  
****Me: BOOM! BOOM! BOOM!**

_**Le sigh...**_** JUST CONTINUE!!**

_**A man's heaven in a B-sized cup.  
**__Written by: Ashuurii of Fanfiction (dot) net_

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Naruto or any Naruto related themes. I do however, own this plot so please do not steal or claim as your own. Thank you!

So without further-ado, another ONESHOT! xD.

**Spring Break  
****Friday, May 23****rd****, 2008  
****Location: Uchiha Mansion  
****Room: U. Sasuke's Humble Abode (**_**ahem, er... his room.**_**)  
****Occupants: 2  
****Names: H. Sakura, and U. Sasuke.**

"Heh, you suck." Sasuke smirked as he continued to royally kick his girlfriend's ass at Underground Racing: Edition 2!! (A/N: Heh, I LOVE racing video games. THEY ROCK!!)

"Hmph! Show-off!" She fired back as the game was suddenly came to a close. In the end Sasuke had made it to the finish line with his character stepping out and doing a victory dance while Sakura's character cried in shame.

"Pfft. Not my fault you can't play video games to save your life." Sasuke shot back sarcastically with a smirk. He lounged back in his jeans and black tee-shirted glory as Sakura continued to pout in dark blue skinny-jeans, black converse's, gray tee-shirt with a navy blue tank top over it and her choppy pink hair flowing straight to her shoulders with fringed bangs. (A/N: Imagine the girl from Paramore in the, "Pressure." Music video. Only the clothes are different and this is sakura. Hehe xD.)

"Well... necessarily you can't win... WITHOUT THIS!" She yelled and grabbed the video game memory card, running toward's the door.

"Sakura... give. It. Back." He said sternly as his eyes bugged out.

"Hmm... YOU'LL HAVE TO CATCH ME FIRST!" She laughed as she made a mad dash through the mansion, with Sasuke hot on her heels.

Laughter sounded from the halls as the two teens madly ran through the house on a fun spring break afternoon, just being the kid's they were.

Sasuke was laughing and running so hard he had to stop ever so often to breathe.

But, who doesn't love a good chase right?

But... I know what your thinking... it's just a memory card! Go buy another! Your rich!

Well...

This memory card had EVERY score Sasuke and Naruto and Itachi ever hit on every video game they own. If they lose it... it's like castrating steak in front of food deprived full-blooded males with testosterone pumping through their veins at high speed, and also having a woman in a tight red leather suit with big boobs and a big ass while their horny little selves are tied to a chair... which is chained to the ceiling and making them WATCH IT as said woman castrates said steak.

Yes... IT IS **THAT** IMPORTANT! Well, as important as a woman in tight red leather with big boobs and an ass and steak is to a hungry, horny, full-bread male. Interesting ne?

Sakura finally hit a dead end and Sasuke... well he ran into the wall.

But being the type of guy who could get run over by a mad truck, fall off a cliff, slam his finger in the car door and have his genitals ripped out and STILL get up, saying... "It's all good. I'm cool." well... he bounced back rather fast.

"Come on Sakura." He laughed but she had ONE more trick up her sleeve as she smirked.

"What are you..." Sasuke said untrustingly as she smirked wider and pulled the top of her shirt out.

His eyes bugged out 10x the size of saucer plates as she daintily placed the tiny memory card securely within the confines of a black bra.

"You want it? You'll have to beg." She smirked. But hey! What girl was to be reminded 24/7 that she sucks at video games?! Not Sakura Haruno. That's for sure.

"Pfft. Like hell." He said stubbornly... but still... HE HAD TO GET THE DAMN CARD BACK!!

And then... His own patented Uchiha smirk spread across his smexy face.

"You wouldn't..." She said untrustingly this time and as quickly as she shoved the card down her shirt, his hand was down her...

But it isn't as if he was so innocent and just grabbed it! He had to FEEL around for it.

And just when he thought he had the memory card, his hand squeeze something...

Something mushy, and soft, and... firm.

OH. EM. GEE!

'_Holy shit, I touched a boob!'_ His mind screamed as his inner popped out for some commentary.

'_**Sasuke my boy... today. You are a man. I AM SO PROUD!'**_

But...

"Ahh!!" She screamed as she gave him a blood-curddeling nut-shot.

What's a nut-shot you may ask?

Let's just say, it's a hit below the belt.

Sasuke's face paled equivalent to that of pure snow as he snatched up the card from her B-sized cup haven and ladies and gentlemen... THE TITANIC HAS SUNK!!

"Holy. Mother. Of. God." He cried in a squeaky unmanly voice.

"YOU GRABBED MY BOOB!!" she wailed. Okay... forget male pride and ego since that was shattered moments ago along with the joyous ecstasy and pride that went along with FINALLY having intimate contact with the opposite sex for an ASSUMED gay-man.

He clutched his pride as he knelt and tears welled up in his eyes. He looked up at her with the most enormous puppy eyes in the world.

FIRE IN THE HOLE!!

"Aw, Sasu-kun." She said with guilty and remorse as she kneeled down in front of him only slightly higher and pulled him in for an embrace.

His head smashed into the very B-sized cup haven he earlier groped. As she apologized and offered to get him ice... he smiled a wicked smile as he hugged her back... placing the memory card slightly in his back pocket and once again buried his face in the mushy, soft, firmness of estrogen.

Sweet merciful Jesus, tis a blessing. HE'S A TOTAL FAKE!!

You see ladies and gentlemen... what Sakura doesn't know is... HE WAS WEARING A **CUP** THE WHOLE TIME!!

'_I am good.' _He inwardly smirked.

'_**-cries- I am so proud.'**_

And so... let's just say when Sakura found out... well... WE'RE GONNA NEED A PARAMEDIC!! OH!! AND SOME ICE!!

"Ow..."

THE END!!

**Me: Hehe, I am so evil.  
****Sasuke: Sadistic is more like it. But who cares!! HAHA MAN THAT WAS AWESOME!!  
****Sakura: -.- -cracks knuckles-  
****Me: Dude...  
****Sasuke: Yeah?  
****Me: Run.  
****Sasuke: huh? –looks at sakura-...**

**3**

**2**

**1**

**Sasuke: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!**

_**BEEP.  
**__**BEEP.  
**__**BEEP.**_

**Naruto: WHY MUST THE GOOD DIE YOUNG!?  
****Me: Well... you know what they say.  
****Naruto: -scratches head- no what?  
****Me: -sweatdrop- Hell hath no fury like a woman's scorn.  
****Naruto:... . 1. OH! I GET IT!!  
****Me: HOUTSON! WE HAVE LIFTOFF!!**

**-end.-**


End file.
